Remnants of a different time.

"The more I give to you, the more I die."-Trent Reznor

Months ago, before I became the new me, I remember Mia and I used to roleplay as Scott Summers and Jean Grey.

IRONIC how the events of our roelplaying as Cyclops and Phoenix turned out to be exactly how things actually went for us.

For anybody who knows anything about Comics, they'd know Jean turns into Phoenix and then into Dark Phoenix.

Good God, how Ironic.

From sweet Mia to Dark Mia within a matter of days, it was interesting to see her true colors come out. 

Day after day, I stayed without a doubt in my mind, trying to help her with any problems she had. Day after day, I was there for her. I never left or even gave thought to leaving. I thought I was doing the right thing by being loyal and trustworthy to her.

For two months, I waited for her while any other guy would've just left her out in the cold without a second thought. But no, me and my stupid ass stayed and did what I could, with every fiber of my being to help her and be a rock for her.

I'm not hurt by her betrayal but it just bothers me that I don't even know what I did for her to backstab me like that.

I just don't get it. I was NOTHING but fantastic to that girl and then she goes off and does things like this. This is why, time after time, moment after moment I'm always telling my friends about why I ALWAYS, at every moment keep my guard up by choice.

I did things for that girl that nobody on the face of this sad planet would've done for her in a million years.

I gave to her what I'd been waiting to give to someone all my life and she through it all away within seconds.

It's okay though, I was always prepared for it.

I haven't cried, yelled or even really thought about her since all of her backstabbing took place.

Two things that REALLY, REALLY, REALLY bother me is that when Joe went to ask her to come over and talk to me because I didn't want to be near her shallow, hollow-hearted "friends"(Aquaintances), she fucking blew smoke in his face.

And to top it all off, the Dark Mia was wearing the $40 "Phoenix" necklace I gave her for Christmas while she stood all cuddled up, kissing up, romancing up with some other dude, her ex....she didn't even know I was around until I made my presence clear. The fucking look on her face: PRICELESS!

But hey, it's like the Comic Book Mythology goes, right?

Scott and Jean get together, Jean gets the power of the Phoenix (Equivelant to Mia's ego. Her vanity.), Jean becomes the Phoenix and then the inevitable....Phoenix turns to Dark Phoenix. The effects of it all, Scott loses Jean one way or another.

Like I said before, if that's how she trully is, then I don't need her. I just simply don't need anymore infidelity, worrying or backstabbing.

A new day is dawning. The day of my new consciousness has begun.

Another piece of irony, I just opened my fortune cookie and it reads: "All happiness is in the mind if it exists at all."

Story of my life.

"This isn't vengeace, it's punishment."

This is my punishment for being as nice and good to her as I was. Never again will I do what I did for her even for anybody else. It's too risky.