A stranger in the mirror.

"If love is a drug then I don't need it."-Richard Ashcroft

Strong displeasure in a lot of people. That's all I'm feeling right now at this moment....A strong displeasure in a lot of people.

Is it really as sad of a world when everyone gets what they want and forget about you?

Is it really such a terrible world when those closest to you, ask everything of you and forget that you exist when you need them in return?

I'm telling you, It's becoming clear to me, whom I should and shouldn't trust anymore.

These upcoming weeks will say a whole lot about me. Some things, good. Some things, bad.

Everyone has there own self interests at the for-front?

Ok....I'll do that too. I'll be the greedy bastard mostly (Repeat, MOSTLY) everyone is forcing me to become.

Charles Darwin once said that "Natural Selection turns species against each other and inadvertadley sperates the weak from the strong." Well, ain't that the fucking truth!

If I'd known eight or nine years ago, the things that I know now, I would've never bothered with a lot of people in my life.

It's clear to me now. It's clear to me how much I don't mean to anyone or anything in this wretched world.

My own "friends" and "family" act as if I'm a irrelevant person or a after-thought.

Nobody has the fucking time to spare when it comes to me, not even just a few minutes of their time to sit and talk because everyone is so fucking greedy and only interested in themselves and their own needs.

When it comes to me, I ALWAYS find the time to give to others and be there for them in any way that I can possibly be there for them.

I should have learned my lesson two months ago with that bitch, Mia.

Bottom line, I don't have the luxuries of trust or love. I have myself and that's all I'll ever have.

I was taught by both of my parents from the time I was in kindergarden, "You cannot depend on anybody but yourself." and in all honesty that's the biggest lesson they've ever taught me and I'm more than glad to say that that's my very best quality: Independence.

I'm abandoned by even those who claim to be the closest to me.

This is why I am the way I am, closed off and quiet because I feel so abandoned and unwanted.

When it comes to keeping promises and holding principles in order, I never fail but when it comes to someone else to keep a promise and do what's exspected of them, theres always an escuse for why they couldn't do it. It's incredible.

This is why I don't leave my room for days at a time. This is why I don't sleep for days at a time and this is why I don't speak for hours at a time....I don't exist.

I looked at myself in the mirror today for five minutes straight....I couldn't believe the anger I saw in my face.

I almost didn't know I was looking at myself. I never saw myself that angry.

This fucking world makes me sick. I'm going back to my room....the only place I'm welcome and wanted.