A married man.

"A artist is the person in a crowded room who’s there physically but isn’t there mentally. A true artist is the man who knows nothing but sees everything. A true artist bends his work but holds his beliefs straight, strong and unwavering. A false artist is the man whom always knows all, "has seen it all" and is always right."-Vincent Van Gogh

I had a definitive and memorable moment yesterday night.

I was sitting in my bed, writing and my brother came in, turned the TV on and out of sarcasm asked me:

"When are you gonna get a girlfriend? You’ve been writing all damn day!"

My reply was simply: "I’m already married to my work."

I couldn’t have been any more proud of myself in that moment. To me, my writing is my life. I’ve literally become married to my work and I’ve forgotten about all else since the beginning of 2008 and even more so, this past week.

My mom invited me to go to New Jersey with her and my grandfather last tuesday and I turned it down so that I could write.

I got invited to a school party this friday and I turned it down so that I could write.

I took three days off this week so that I could write.

Solange invited me to two parties in a row last week and guess what? I turned them both down so that I could write.

Nothing means as much to me anymore except my writing and my characters. Only fellow writers would be able to understand my obsession.

Only a writer or storyteller could understand the meaning of what being able to actually have a imagination truly is.

To truly have and hone an imagination, a real imagination is to control the entire world in many ways than one.

One imagination is the home to trillions of ideas and possibilities and when you put just one down on a piece of paper and turn one sentence into hundreds of pages or when you take a random name and give it a entire origin, life and a character to fill into it, the feeling you get is worth a lifetime of waiting and it’s like the equivelant to a billion moments of happiness. It’s a talent that not a single person can take from you no matter what.

It’s not a talent or a craft that’s meant for everyone to have or use. It’s like being a Gymnast or more so, a
Musician. Perfection is the key to a artist of any medium’s happiness although we’re never trully satisfied with our work on some level or another.

 A craft such as story telling, for one,  is one that can’t be ignored because it’s not just something that you create....It’s a part of you. It’s apart of you on numerous levels.

Any person with any ability to do something outside the box or anything different or out of the ordinary will tell you the exact same thing.

Why do you think 96% of Novelists suffer from Insomnia or some sort of sleeping problem?

Answer: Sleepless nights!

I’m like the king of sleepless nights, my friends. I’m telling you, you could be on MySpace at 5 AM and I’ll be on here, not active but I’ll be on while I’m, well, writing of course.

At some point, other things on a very off chance might come between a dedicated writer and his work but seriously, not even the worst of things will keep a good writer from working.

Examples:

1. Last summer, when my mom was in the hospital, guess what I was doing every single day in her hospital room?

2. Last summer, during my entire two month vacation, guess what I was doing for 12 hours a day like clock work?

3. Last January, on the same exact day I saw that whore, Mia with that guy guess what I was doing as soon as I got home?

I WAS WRITING!

I mean, that’s what I do and that’s all I’ll ever do. Write, write, write.

That’s all I literally do with every waking moment of my day. I write, create new characters, work on character profiles, go over things in a story that I’m not satisfied with or I’m here writing a blog.

I’m my own editor, I’m my own boss and I’m my own driving force when I’m writing.

No pun intended but for me, working on my own stories and characters is my perfect drug.

It not only gives me a place to escape to but it also gives me fulfillment when I need it.

I might allow myself some time to read, watch my favorite shows every night or watch a movie here and there or in the summer, I might even play some games for a few hours but I can assure you when I’m through with my break(s), I’m back to fucking work.

I’m very organized when it comes to my work ethic and my work schedule. I’m without a doubt up and working from 8 AM to 3 PM and if I have a whole lot that I want to write on a particular day, I’ll even go to midnight or in most cases passed midnight.

In school, I’m writing. At home, I’m writing. When I’m out on the town or elsewhere, I’m writing and even when I’m celebrating my own birthday.

Don’t get me wrong, I do take breaks but just not as frequent as the regular person might.
I get my will from my Dad and my durability from my Mom.

My Mom was the one who used to (and still does) stay up all night long watching television or doing something else but it all began in those early years when I  picked up on the art (because it is a art form) of staying up all night long working or burning the midnight oil without sleep for days. It takes a lot of self-discipline to do it, especially if you are or want to be a writer. (One Christmas as a child, I caught my Mom putting the presents under the tree. Good times.... :)

My Dad is a military man, a former marksman for the Army. Since I was a child, he always had a certain way of doing things or a certain, structured way of living and that’s basically where I got the will and discipline to go on for days without sleep and just write from sun-up to sun-down. I’m telling you, it takes alot out of me to do it but my Dad’s infamous and constant "If you’ve got a mission to do then execute it until the end without any escuses." speaches are basically what keep me from failing at my targets in writing and in life in general.

This week alone, I broke my own record when I wrote 65 pages in just two days. My previous record before that was set at 59 pages in three days.

Dedicated? Absolutley.

Obsessed? Sure.

Rediculous? Why not?

Lazy? Not a chance.

So, when I get pissed when I hear somebody call themselves a "writer," or when someone tries to discredit me or when someone simply thinks of me as "just a teenager with a hobby" of all things, now you’ll all know why I get offended.

Until next time....stay posted.