Nothing much.

"I've got nothing much to say, I guess; Just the same as all the rest, when you're trying to throw your arms around the world."-Bono

Alot has changed in the past year for me. I look back at myself and how I've changed in the past 365 days and I have to admit, I feel a whole lot more fulfilled than what I imagined I could've been.

Some things haven't changed though. Things like my heart and mind still remain as stoic and viscious as usual.

I remember when I entered myself into a period of numbness, which in return I was hoping would allow me to become as more hardened person than who I was when that whole Mia thing went down. Evidentally, that period lasted for the entire year and is now just coming to a close.

I'm not the same person I was last year, externally or internally. I put myself through a challenging obstical course and I made it through.

I gave up the complaining (even when I have a good reason to do so), I put my focus all on my  work and I have become a more closed-off type of person, and I feel that that's the chosen way I have to be these days.

My realism out-weighs my pessimism, although the two can be confused at times.

I think that I have grown up a whole lot this past year. The most important thing that I've learned was that no matter what, I'm never going to be able to control the unfortunate and external aspects of my life. I found it to be much more satisfying to re-arrange myself from the inside in order to effect my outside.

Self-control was something I was always gifted with and this past year taught me that self-control was all I could ever trully have in the world. So, in essence, what I was looking for was already within myself.

Honestly, I've come to enjoy being alone in the world because being alone in the only constant in my life that I can say feels as normal to me as anything else can. It's weird, the one thing I'm afraid of is being alone but in reality, I trully am by myself in alot of ways.

The way that I'm viewed isn't always accuratley painted by others as I would wish it could be but the single thing that I can express, is the clearity that I've found through my observation of others.

Some people, throughout the year haven't lived up to the standards I had for them in my head but the thing I have to remember is that everyone isn't like myself; everyone isn't always who we think they are and like myself, nobody is perfect. I've learned to be a little bit more lenient towards people as a whole and especially the people that I love.

I'm the furthest thing from perfection and the reason why I haven't persued personal completion this passed year as much as I did in other past years was because among the moany other things that I've learned and accepted this year was that in the pursuit of happiness, everything gets trully lost.

As I pursued love, friendship and complacentcy in 2007, everything went to shit (HERE). This year, I didn't pursue anything in particular other than my writing and surprisingly, everything seemed to rush into my life for the better.

Maybe that's how life is supposed to be lived....on a whim.

It wasn't a bad year when I look back on it. It wasn't a perfect year, but it was definatley better than most of the years I've lived.

Still, I'll be viewed as others choose to view me and I'll live as I choose to live. My life is mine, and that's the end of that argument. The more things change, the more they stay the same, it seems.

Like I've done countless time before, I will keep on....