Miseries of Endurance.

"There's so much darkness in the world, I feel like I can drown in it."-Sam Winchester

 

I feel like I've fallen into a deep, dark pit of evil. Today is one of those days that feels like the darkness that is always right under the surface has crawled it's way on top and taken over every single thing possible.

 

The negative thoughts of bad, hurtful things that were said to me throughout the past that I try hard to forget are rushing through my head and I can't seem to stop them. Things so bad, I don't even want to talk about them.

 

It's a time of change for me and I'm happy about that but I can't seem to shake the gloom of this particular day from my mind.

The rain, the colors, the memories brought on by today aren't any that I'd want in any of the rest of my days.

I can't explain just how dark and negative everything seems to be right now. The sounds of repeating cruel words from family, friends and strangers alike are haunting but they don't seem to fade with the time that I allow to pass by them.

 

I'm sure I've done my share of regretful things but my mind could use a good rest from this patch in time from today. The sight of the last time I saw my cousin, the sight of my mom having a stroke, the sounds of my parents' air-blistering fights from my childhood, the words of classmates and plenty of other horrendous things are all locked in my head even with my attempts to forget and repress them.

It's just been another day to live I guess....