Clocks With No Hands.

"Live your life before your soul's a small grain in the sky." - Richard Ashcroft


I've been known to have an extremely active imagination. Sometimes it can be over-active. But judging from the dream that I just woke up from (Yep! At 4PM), I can't help but to wonder if I'm trying to tell myself something in such a subtle and subconscious way that even I have hard time knowing what to make of it. I swear, the dream was EXTREMELY vivid! It was interesting, but I'm pretty sure it meant something, and in a big, profound way.

One big thing that I remember about the dream, was that in all of the settings that it took place in, the one thing that was constant, was that it was cold and snowing.

In the dream, I was in a school with all of my friends and all of my past flames. Some of the people shouldn't have even been there because some of them are too old to even be in school with me.

And then suddenly, while I was still in the classroom at my desk, for some reason or another, the teacher dismissed us from his class, and then I remember walking out of the building and down the street to the train station.

When I got onto the platform, something felt weird about it. I can remember making curious faces in my sleep. It felt as if I were floating off of the ground a little bit, and then I wasn't there anymore. I found myself standing outside of some Japanese takeout place. It was night time for some reason. The place looked almost like Westchester Square, where I used to hang out euphorically, once upon a time.

I recall hearing a noise like a chain wrattling, like when the employees are closing the gates of their stores. I turned to look over my shoulder, and I saw Mia being chained by the Japanese owner of the store, to a fire hydrant outside of his restaurant for stealing. It was sorta funny but it's a bit blurry after that.

Eventually, I found a way to release her from the chains and free her from the hydrant. All of a sudden, I turned around and her parents were there behind me waiting to take her home. Her mother was yelling at me for some reason or another, but something tells me that she was blaming me for her daughter's problems. And soon after, her father spit in my face.

And then, there I was again, on the platform of the train. And it's daytime instead of night as it just was. The platforms were full, and I made my way to the rear of the train (my favorite part of the train in reality) and I remember telling myself that I wasn't going to get on the train because I hate being in crowded cars with so many other people. But then, I'm suddenly on the train sitting next to my old friend, Kris (who I haven't spoken to in years due to a falling out), and my buddy Rafael.

I'm sitting there thinking, "How did I get here?". But I never figured out the answer.

I looked down at my watch, it was the one that my mom gave me two years ago, and I saw that it had no hands on it. I heard a familiar voice speaking to me, so I looked up and it was Marlene, my first crush from middle school. She said something cryptic to me: "There's a cute girl behind me."

When I looked behind her, to see who she was talking about, day turned into night on the outside (with nothing changing inside the train), and when I looked back at her face, she wasn't Marlene anymore, she was Jenna, and she was grinning strangely at me, almost like she could see straight threw me, in a matter of speaking. Eventually, I looked out of the window, and like magic, night turned back into day.

This time, Rafael wasn't sitting next to me, but it was my brother. He said: "When did you get here?" and I asked him "Why aren't you driving? Where's your car?". He didn't reply but he looked over his shoulder, motioning to someone behind me, and at my other side, Kris told me that "She wanted to speak to me."

I asked "Who?" but he didn't say anything, just like my brother refused to. I turned in my seat, and there she was again, the only girl I ever truly loved.... Mia. This time she was sitting with her friends, and evidently, she was in a heated argument with one of the lunch ladies (who I didn't recognize) from our old High School.

Her hair was still long and dyed in a ruby red color, and she was still gorgeous as ever. I was about to call to her, but a voice told me "Don't talk to her, man. You're both better off", but there was something eerie about the voice that was telling me not to speak to Mia. The voice belonged to my cousin, Carmello, who got killed two [almost three] years ago. I couldn't see him, but I could feel his presence, as if he was truly there somewhere.

All of a sudden, there was nobody on the train, except for Mia and I, and the conductor said that we were coming to the next stop shortly. I had this distinct feeling, as if I knew if Mia walked out of the train, I'd never see her again.

The train arrived at the next stop, and the train's doors opened. She walked out, and I was left on the train alone. As she exited the platform, the doors closed behind her, and I could see inside of another train, and sitting inside of it were my friends Joseph and Jason talking with each other. Joe was smoking a cigarette, as usual.

As my desolate train pulled off, I knew that I was going home for some reason. I looked at my watch again, this time it was one that my father gave me when I was around seven or eight, and just like the other watch that my mom gifted to me, it didn't have hands on it.

I knew only one thing in that instant, something without having to say it: All that I had in the world, was myself.

The weird thing is, three years ago, on this same day, the night before Thanksgiving to be exact, I experienced my cronic night terror of sleep paralysis for the very first time. I wonder if this dream and that sleep disorder are connected in some way.