To Flip the Script.

“That's just how white folks will do you. It wasn't merely the cruelty involved; It was a particular brand of arrogance, an obtuseness in otherwise sane people. It was as if whites didn't know they were being cruel in the first place. Or at least thought you deserved of their scorn.” - Barack Obama


I'm tired. Tired on an emotional level and tired on a mental level. I'm becoming more and more cynical by the day and there's only one constant source of my frustrations: White American racism. It's beyond belief and completely uncalled for. As a black man, the subject of race is something that is naturally on my mind given this nation's violent and dark past regarding the topic. I've noticed that a good many of my written posts have regarded the topic of racism in America as their subject matter over the past few months or so, but I can't help it: The whole thing just gets under my skin and it offends me and my very existence to the core.

Excluding my many, many encounters with racist people and the situations that they've instigated over the course of my life so far - I'm disappointed to see that my suspicions and cynicism regarding the topic were always justified to begin with. Racism is a thing that I, personally, always want to be wrong about but am routinely proven otherwise on. Just the other day, I noticed a trend of white drivers rubber-necking and gawking at me through their car windows while I was walking through a white neighborhood.

But that's beside the point. The melting pot of my frustrations today comes from the constant negativity, bigotry, and ignorance put forth by Anthony Cumia on the Opie & Anthony show who ironically happens to be of Italian descent - a recurring theme when it comes to racism and prejudice in my life. Now, I'll admit that I was never a big listener of the radio but for the past year or so, I've been listening to old segments of that program (particularly the ones with the late Patrice O'Neal in them) and I can't help but to be offended. Offended, not just as a minority living in America, but also as a human being in general.

Just to know that someone in this 21st century world would hate me or my family or my hypothetical children for no other reason than the mere color of our skin angers me. And in that way, I feel justified for my subsequent anger towards particularly conservative white Americans.

I've had the conversation with a few close people in my life - minorities and otherwise - about the topic of having a racial preference when it comes to dating; low and behold, I was disappointed again. Of course, it didn't come as a shock to me to find out that most people hold others to a completely different standard than they do for themselves, but it's the mental ignorance and unjustness of their beliefs that I simply don't understand.

I'm a firm believer that most people in the United States are attracted to what the media and popular culture tell them to be attracted to. An example of this can be found amongst the way that my fellow brethren of all races - even minorities - tend to think of white females in America: As superiorly beautiful and sought-after goddesses who are to be worshipped over every other ethnic denomination at all cost.

One microcosmic example that I could give is Scarlett Johansson. Every guy wants her and she's probably one of the sexiest and most gorgeous women to ever walk the face of this planet, I'll admit, but people tend to overlook the fact that so are non-white women like Meagan Good, Stacey Dash, Kellita Smith, Moon Bloogood, and Sarah Shahi in favor of women like Johansson, Megan Fox, Olivia Wilde, Angelina Jolie, Christina Hendricks, Alice Eve, Evan Rachel Wood, Kate Beckinsale, Kate Winslet, Natalie Portman, Emma Stone, Julie Benz, Hayley Atwell, Monica Bellucci, Nikki Cox, Liv Tyler, Elisha Cuthbert, Katy Perry, Carla Gugino, Hayden Panettiere, Elizabeth Hurley, Gwyneth Paltrow, Charlize Theron, Naomi Watts, Mila Kunis, Rebecca Romijn, Jennifer Aniston, Kristanna Loken, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Nichole Hiltz, Jennifer Garner, Anne Hathaway, Drew Barrymore, Malin Ackerman, Gretchen Mol, Morena Baccarin, Callie Thorne, Emma Watson, Rooney Mara, Tricia Helfer, Emilia Clarke, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Alona Tal, Jenna Fischer, Selma Blair, Jennifer Connelly, or Blake Lively just to name some.

White women have consistantly been featured as the vital object of desire throughout history: From cartoons like "The Little Mermaid," "Cinderella," "Snow White," and "Sleeping Beauty" to modern-day television series like "True Blood" where the dark-skinned character of Tara Thornton (portrayed by Rutina Wesley) is routinely shunned season-after-season in favor of the naive blonde-haired waitress character of Sookie Stackhouse (portrayed by Anna Paquin) to even comic books where only one black female character even comes to mind in the form of the X-Men's Ororo Munroe. In Bollywood, only light-skinned indian women like Priyanka Chopra, Aishwarya Rai, and Hansika Motwani are portrayed as objects of desire and in modern American consciousness: Sex symbols of the past like Marilyn Monroe, Betty Page, and Francis Farmer are regarded as more appealing and conventional than the likes of Dorothy Dandridge, Ruby Dee, and Josephine Baker.

All of that has a brainwashing and conditioning effect on the minds of young people as they grow up in a culture that perpetrates a certain image of beauty as attractive to the masses. Which leads me back to the topic of "racial preference" when it comes to dating: It's racist and discriminatory.... that's the reason why it's a "preference" to begin with. Of course, I wouldn't have a problem with the idea of a person's own "preference" as long as it didn't have any affect on anyone else - but the solid truth is that it most often does in many ways:

- One of these ways is that that person's racial ignorance for whatever reason is passed down from their generation to the next whenever they have children.


- Another way is by spreading that counter-productive practice into the masses by constantly rejecting potential suitors, who innocently have no racial biase, simply because of the color of their skin.

The former simply keeps the prejudice race machine in America running, while the latter breeds completely avoidable and copious amounts of animosity on a massive scale which will evidently be applied subconsciously and otherwise in the many areas of that rejected person's life for years, and possibly even decades, to come as long as this form of discrimination thrives from both sides of the aisle. It's simply detrimental to society.

I, personally, have no racial preference when it comes to dating or to women in general. They're all gorgeous creatures and they're all incredible to me. Over the course of my life, I've asked out plenty of women who were black, white, and hispanic. And if the opportunity had ever presented itself, I would've just as swiftly went after an asian or indian girl too. Of course, they pretty much all shunned or rejected me one after the other coming up - and most times than not because of their or their parents' "racial preferences" - but at the end of the day, atleast I could say that I tried, I gave it my best shot, and that I'm not a prejudice man. I don't think that someone remotely like Anthony Cumia - who said that he would never allow his child to date a black person - could say the same for themselves. It's a shame and I can only fear for the generations to come.