"If a man says he will not harm you when you are asleep, you can go to sleep. If a woman says she will not harm you in your sleep, you'd be wise to stay awake." - Nelson Mandela
Women are confusing. Whoever coined the term "hit or miss" surely must've made it in reference to them, I swear. I'm often scolded by family, friends, and lovers that one of my major flaws is that I don't - or seemingly refuse to - express my feelings to them. But it seems like whenever I do, all they usually repay me with is further scolding for being more open the way that they asked me to in the first place.Well, if this morning wasn't the biggest vindication I've ever experienced then I have no clue what else could possibly top it.
I won't get into specifics but surely, as the first sentence of this post would entail, this all has something to do with a woman in my life who I feel the deepest romantic love for. She's not brand new to my narrative, but even with that said, I still have a hard time understanding her. One moment, she wants me there for her; The next, I seem to annoy her just by breathing. I just simply don't get it at all. Well, that's a lie. Sorta. I do get it, or at least I think that I do, but I don't like the conclusion of my theory. And that theory is that she wants me around but strictly at arm's legnth. Like a pet. The problem with that unfortunate hypothesis is that she's so sweet in demeanor and seemingly naive and innocent in her mindset that the last thing I'd expect from her would be such a malacious ruse.
Then, again, this wouldn't be the first time that I were wrong about a person. I like to tell myself that I'm a magnificent judge of character but I'm also the same guy who gave every ounce of his energy and heart to a wretched scumbag like Mia Diaz back when I was in High School. I'd like to think that I've gotten much smarter and wiser and much more stoic in the five years since then, the way I have in every other area of my life, but perhaps I'm the naive one in the end: The guy who thinks he can see things for what they truly are underneath the surface but is merely blinded and manipulated by his own desires when all is said and done. That wouldn't be too far off of a thought, either, considering the reasons behind why I'm writing this right now.
So, get this: A couple days ago, said person sent me a message. I responded, everything seemed fine and fair. This morning, I sent her a message about the same topic and I was made to feel like an idiot. Or as if I'd done something wrong or committed some terrible crime against humanity or something. But what cracks me up is the fact that she's usually the main person to tell me that I should be more open than what I am yet pulls away from me for doing so. It's unbelievable.
I don't know why I have to keep going through the crazy things that I do. It seems to be my lot in life.
Women are confusing. Whoever coined the term "hit or miss" surely must've made it in reference to them, I swear. I'm often scolded by family, friends, and lovers that one of my major flaws is that I don't - or seemingly refuse to - express my feelings to them. But it seems like whenever I do, all they usually repay me with is further scolding for being more open the way that they asked me to in the first place.Well, if this morning wasn't the biggest vindication I've ever experienced then I have no clue what else could possibly top it.
I won't get into specifics but surely, as the first sentence of this post would entail, this all has something to do with a woman in my life who I feel the deepest romantic love for. She's not brand new to my narrative, but even with that said, I still have a hard time understanding her. One moment, she wants me there for her; The next, I seem to annoy her just by breathing. I just simply don't get it at all. Well, that's a lie. Sorta. I do get it, or at least I think that I do, but I don't like the conclusion of my theory. And that theory is that she wants me around but strictly at arm's legnth. Like a pet. The problem with that unfortunate hypothesis is that she's so sweet in demeanor and seemingly naive and innocent in her mindset that the last thing I'd expect from her would be such a malacious ruse.
Then, again, this wouldn't be the first time that I were wrong about a person. I like to tell myself that I'm a magnificent judge of character but I'm also the same guy who gave every ounce of his energy and heart to a wretched scumbag like Mia Diaz back when I was in High School. I'd like to think that I've gotten much smarter and wiser and much more stoic in the five years since then, the way I have in every other area of my life, but perhaps I'm the naive one in the end: The guy who thinks he can see things for what they truly are underneath the surface but is merely blinded and manipulated by his own desires when all is said and done. That wouldn't be too far off of a thought, either, considering the reasons behind why I'm writing this right now.
So, get this: A couple days ago, said person sent me a message. I responded, everything seemed fine and fair. This morning, I sent her a message about the same topic and I was made to feel like an idiot. Or as if I'd done something wrong or committed some terrible crime against humanity or something. But what cracks me up is the fact that she's usually the main person to tell me that I should be more open than what I am yet pulls away from me for doing so. It's unbelievable.
I don't know why I have to keep going through the crazy things that I do. It seems to be my lot in life.
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