"I am here in my mold, but I'm a million different People from one day to the next."-Richard Ashcroft
I rarely get this feeling. I haven't felt it in years, to be exact but for the first time in a very long time, I feel free.
I feel free from the problems which I once faced and from the problems which I've recently been facing.
Everything is clear to me now! I know why I feel the way that I do and I know why I think and act the way that I do.
The reason, I'm feeling so clear and free is because i've had what many people in tough places often have,
It's called a moment of clearity. Let me tell you, once you've felt this feeling, your never gonna want to go back to how it was before.
It started off a little bleak, at first but now I'm in full force along side of it.
It started last night while I was sleeping, and for those of you who know my condition called Sleep Paralyisis, in which I sometimes can't move when I wake up, then you should also know that I've had this problem for about two years now.
Sleep Paralyisis isn't a good feeling, take it from me. It all starts off with you waking up and then as you try to move (It doesn't take a genius to figure this out) you simply can't. Trust me, the fear that you'll end up getting is no joke at all. Just imagine trying to move and you can't because you don't have any control over your body movement.
Well, it happened to me again this morning as I was waking up and while I wasn't able to move, I had the most unique feeling of clearity.
I felt as if I knew why alot of my the events in my life took place. I still can't figure out how or why I got this feeling but the point is, I did.
It may sound a little weird or crazy that this happened to me but, your just gonna have to take my word for it, I guess.
As I layed there, unable to move, I for some reason thought about the things that have happened in my life over the past few years and right before I was able to move again, I somehow or another seemed to know why all of these things seemed to happen and none of them were to do me any harm.
The reason why I live the life that I live now, is to prepare me for something in the future.
The reason why I met alot of my friends in such a short period of time was to show them a different path which they could potentially take if they wanted to and in return I would recieve everlasting loyalty.
The reason my Parents split up while I was younger was because, If I were to go down the path in which that secure life was to take me, I would've been too comfortable and I would have probably lived in a fantasy world in which not everything but most things would have been perfect instead of realistic.
One of the biggest things that I came to realize was the reason why I kept getting rejected time after time after time. Even now, I can't believe it but the reason why I had to be heart broken (Especially by Marlene) was because if I'd gotten what I wanted, I would have been a totally different person, presumably a person which I wouldn't and still don't want to be. Or I probably would've gotten myself into something that I wasn't ready for, who knows?
Even though, I was able to put all that together and even though I may be feeling alot better now, the question is: For how long?
I rarely get this feeling. I haven't felt it in years, to be exact but for the first time in a very long time, I feel free.
I feel free from the problems which I once faced and from the problems which I've recently been facing.
Everything is clear to me now! I know why I feel the way that I do and I know why I think and act the way that I do.
The reason, I'm feeling so clear and free is because i've had what many people in tough places often have,
It's called a moment of clearity. Let me tell you, once you've felt this feeling, your never gonna want to go back to how it was before.
It started off a little bleak, at first but now I'm in full force along side of it.
It started last night while I was sleeping, and for those of you who know my condition called Sleep Paralyisis, in which I sometimes can't move when I wake up, then you should also know that I've had this problem for about two years now.
Sleep Paralyisis isn't a good feeling, take it from me. It all starts off with you waking up and then as you try to move (It doesn't take a genius to figure this out) you simply can't. Trust me, the fear that you'll end up getting is no joke at all. Just imagine trying to move and you can't because you don't have any control over your body movement.
Well, it happened to me again this morning as I was waking up and while I wasn't able to move, I had the most unique feeling of clearity.
I felt as if I knew why alot of my the events in my life took place. I still can't figure out how or why I got this feeling but the point is, I did.
It may sound a little weird or crazy that this happened to me but, your just gonna have to take my word for it, I guess.
As I layed there, unable to move, I for some reason thought about the things that have happened in my life over the past few years and right before I was able to move again, I somehow or another seemed to know why all of these things seemed to happen and none of them were to do me any harm.
The reason why I live the life that I live now, is to prepare me for something in the future.
The reason why I met alot of my friends in such a short period of time was to show them a different path which they could potentially take if they wanted to and in return I would recieve everlasting loyalty.
The reason my Parents split up while I was younger was because, If I were to go down the path in which that secure life was to take me, I would've been too comfortable and I would have probably lived in a fantasy world in which not everything but most things would have been perfect instead of realistic.
One of the biggest things that I came to realize was the reason why I kept getting rejected time after time after time. Even now, I can't believe it but the reason why I had to be heart broken (Especially by Marlene) was because if I'd gotten what I wanted, I would have been a totally different person, presumably a person which I wouldn't and still don't want to be. Or I probably would've gotten myself into something that I wasn't ready for, who knows?
Even though, I was able to put all that together and even though I may be feeling alot better now, the question is: For how long?
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