"Everywhere I look, your all I see."-Trent Reznor
For the whole story go Here.
It's ironic how much things can change from which they once were.
For two years I've wondered how things might have turned out if Marlene would have made a different decision than the one which she did.
I mean, being who I used to be, I actually didn't understand how a person couldn't give a shit about anything that you said to them or tried to show them even after you poured your heart out to them like never before. But as time has gone by and I've thought about that situation time after time after time again, I've come to a conclusion: NOTHING that I could have said or done would have made her give me just one chance.
Sure, it was hard for me to accept at first but at some point and time, you have to sit down and face reality and the reality which I had and still have to face is that if a person does or doesn't want to do something they will ultimatley do what they want to do and nothing can change that.
Now, after two years of thinking and going through every single detail on what I could have done to change the way in which things turned out to be, I've accepted that all things happen for a reason....no matter how terrible or fantastic that thing may be.
I mean, why should I kill myself over something that can't be changed or altered?
Marlene was a cool person and a overall person whom I once loved and still have feelings for but ultimatley, what can I do? The answer to that question is NOTHING!
Even so, I still wonder what my life would have been like if I had gotten what I wanted out of her.
Sometimes, I try to convince myself that she would have drove me nuts and I would have just lost her no matter what and then there are times in which I think that perhaps she would have given me a chance instead of turning me down and I probably would have been a much more happier person because of that.
But the reality is, I don't know how it would have been in any scenario, good or bad.
Maybe, because she turned me down, I can now see exactly who I am inside but like any and everything else....there's a flip side and that flip side may be that by her turning me down, she did me a favor because she probably wasn't who I made her out to be....perhaps it was a blessing in disguise!
Either way, even with me knowing how much I once cared for her, she's never going to come back and I'll never get the chance to tell her face to face how much I still care for her.
Time machines may be a instrument of fiction but I really wish I could have one right now!
This whole thing reminds me of two titles to two great albums, "All that you can't leave behind" by U2 and "And all that could have been" by Nine Inch Nails.
It's really ironic, those titles.
Still, no matter what, I don't think I'll ever get her out of my mind but then again, I didn't think that I would ever be as sad as I feel now.
It's too bad that I can't changed things but what can I do? I can't go back in time. I couldn't do anything then and I can't do anything now....some things never change, I guess.
For the whole story go Here.
It's ironic how much things can change from which they once were.
For two years I've wondered how things might have turned out if Marlene would have made a different decision than the one which she did.
I mean, being who I used to be, I actually didn't understand how a person couldn't give a shit about anything that you said to them or tried to show them even after you poured your heart out to them like never before. But as time has gone by and I've thought about that situation time after time after time again, I've come to a conclusion: NOTHING that I could have said or done would have made her give me just one chance.
Sure, it was hard for me to accept at first but at some point and time, you have to sit down and face reality and the reality which I had and still have to face is that if a person does or doesn't want to do something they will ultimatley do what they want to do and nothing can change that.
Now, after two years of thinking and going through every single detail on what I could have done to change the way in which things turned out to be, I've accepted that all things happen for a reason....no matter how terrible or fantastic that thing may be.
I mean, why should I kill myself over something that can't be changed or altered?
Marlene was a cool person and a overall person whom I once loved and still have feelings for but ultimatley, what can I do? The answer to that question is NOTHING!
Even so, I still wonder what my life would have been like if I had gotten what I wanted out of her.
Sometimes, I try to convince myself that she would have drove me nuts and I would have just lost her no matter what and then there are times in which I think that perhaps she would have given me a chance instead of turning me down and I probably would have been a much more happier person because of that.
But the reality is, I don't know how it would have been in any scenario, good or bad.
Maybe, because she turned me down, I can now see exactly who I am inside but like any and everything else....there's a flip side and that flip side may be that by her turning me down, she did me a favor because she probably wasn't who I made her out to be....perhaps it was a blessing in disguise!
Either way, even with me knowing how much I once cared for her, she's never going to come back and I'll never get the chance to tell her face to face how much I still care for her.
Time machines may be a instrument of fiction but I really wish I could have one right now!
This whole thing reminds me of two titles to two great albums, "All that you can't leave behind" by U2 and "And all that could have been" by Nine Inch Nails.
It's really ironic, those titles.
Still, no matter what, I don't think I'll ever get her out of my mind but then again, I didn't think that I would ever be as sad as I feel now.
It's too bad that I can't changed things but what can I do? I can't go back in time. I couldn't do anything then and I can't do anything now....some things never change, I guess.
All that you cant leave behind.
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