Closure.

"Misting in the maze of monochrome. How did I get here? How can I go home?"-Trent Reznor

And I've come to find closure.

I've accepted the facts that what happened, happened. I was betrayed and now I can move on. I loved and I lost. I had something going and it ended suddenly. The memories of the girl I once knew and loved will always live in my past and memories and that's good enough for me now.

I've accepted that there is nothing more I can do to make sense of what happened and I'm fine with that now too.

Unfortunate? Yes. Neccassary? Yes. Hurtful? ....

In the park for two hours, I came in after a while.

Sitting in the park across the street from my house, I had an epiphany.

I had flashbacks of all the times I played in that park as a child and how grown and mature I've become.

A man, I am now but in some place within my heart, I'd seen a part of me that I hadn't seen for years....Peace.

I sat as I just looked up at the night Sky, Stars out, The sounds of the passing 2 and 5 trains racing by the intervale stop.

I remembered in a instant how many times I'd passed by the park I'd played in as a child and then I looked at all the times that I just sat there in the park for the fresh air. Very rarley have I been in there, I just usually pass it by.

The flashbacks of the times I sat there showed me that I only came to sit there from every few years to every other few years.

My parents' seperation when I was ten, When I was upset one time about my Mom's (Now) ex-boyfriend when I was twelve, Marlene's rejecting me when I asked her out at thirteen, My Cousin's death and Mom's stroke last summer and now at the age of sixteen, I sat in the park because of Mia's betraying and cheating on me.

I didn't get sad for some reason and it was then, in that second that I'd noticed that I had been through a lot and I was still going to face a lot in the future but there would always be hope, even in the smallest of solutions.

Finally, stress-free, I looked up and saw two planes going in the opposite directions. One heading North, the other, South East and I said to myself, in my mind: "One day, I'm gonna be on one of those planes getting out of here."

I felt like I was free.

I felt like I'd reached the unreachable for a few seconds.

Everything was clear. Everything made some sort of sense for once, even the things I didn't and still don't have an answer for were made clear for me in some way or another.

I even figured out why I'd come accross Mia and her betrayal in my life.

The way I see it, Mia was an enigma. She was sent to me to test me. Test me for everything she could. My patience, feelings, time, generosity....nerves. She tested them all to the ends of their limits but she didn't an couldn't break me.

She couldn't break me.

Right after, NIN's "Non-entity" (Such a beautiful song.) came on my MP3 player. Trent sang out, "Misting in the maze of monochrome. How did I get here? How can I go home?" and I knew everything would be alright. I found hope. Something I was a bit short of for a while, there.

You see, those words hit home when he sung them out. It was Ironic because I took it as a sort of, hidden message.

"Misting in the maze of monochrome," meant I was beginning to fade away in Mia and life's craziness.

"How did I get here? How can I go home?," meant I was lost and I needed to find myself once again and let nothing stand in the way of getting back to myself.

Tonight I did something special.

I overcame.

I'm reletivaley quick with getting over events, such as these.

Someone who's going through a unfortunate or traumatic event alway go through the same stages.

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and finally....Acceptance.

This is Acceptance.

I've let go.