"Her eyes.... she's on the dark side."
So, after nine months of trying to win her back in any and every single way possible on my part, Anjelica chose to develop a relationship with a new guy. She told me tonight. Yes, she shares some of the blame but the truth is that the pain I feel is of my own making and of my own approval. I allowed myself to be beholden to her through kindness and loyalty - as I did with her predecessors - but the thanks I got was my throat symbolically slit and an additional dagger to the heart. Once again.
I denied myself love from other women because I thought she was different and deserved the benefit of the doubt. She gave me the false hope that we'd be together again, knowing full-well that I'd do anything to rekindle the world of euphoria that was the undisputed love of which I felt for her. I dreamed of her almost every night, thought of her every day, made her a priority even, and at the first chance she got, she tossed me to the wind for her own selfish desires. That's fine though. That's what I get.
Marlene, Mia, Jenna, Anjelica. It's my own fault. I only have myself to blame for this, just like the others. Because I refuse to learn my goddamn lesson: All I have is me. Everything else is a lie.... even the sweet lies.
Everyone leaves me in the end.
So, after nine months of trying to win her back in any and every single way possible on my part, Anjelica chose to develop a relationship with a new guy. She told me tonight. Yes, she shares some of the blame but the truth is that the pain I feel is of my own making and of my own approval. I allowed myself to be beholden to her through kindness and loyalty - as I did with her predecessors - but the thanks I got was my throat symbolically slit and an additional dagger to the heart. Once again.
I denied myself love from other women because I thought she was different and deserved the benefit of the doubt. She gave me the false hope that we'd be together again, knowing full-well that I'd do anything to rekindle the world of euphoria that was the undisputed love of which I felt for her. I dreamed of her almost every night, thought of her every day, made her a priority even, and at the first chance she got, she tossed me to the wind for her own selfish desires. That's fine though. That's what I get.
Marlene, Mia, Jenna, Anjelica. It's my own fault. I only have myself to blame for this, just like the others. Because I refuse to learn my goddamn lesson: All I have is me. Everything else is a lie.... even the sweet lies.
Everyone leaves me in the end.
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