"This isn't meant to last, this is for right now."-Trent Reznor
Things seem to be shaping up for the better but as usual, I'm not convinced enough to trust these feelings of optimism.
Most of my previous issues have been solved out but for some reason, I STILL don't feel that it's going to be long before it all goes to hell as it did a few times before.
I can't really exsplain it but I just have this strong feeling that's kinda telling me that if I get too comfortable as
I once did then everything is going to come crashing down again.
It's happened tons of times before and I feel that it will happen again.
I don't really think that by me not accepting this state of comfort is being pessimistic but I actually think that the proper term would be "Cautious".
Just because I'm not exspecting this state to last long, doesn't mean I wouldn't like for it to. It's just that I have been through this before.
It's kinda like finally reaching the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It's just that, for me, it usually comes and goes.
And honestly, not to be pessimistic or anything like that but good things just seem to come and go whenever something good comes around me.
I repeat, I'm not trying to be negative but I'm being VERY honest right now. Good things seem to come and go whenever it's around me. No matter how fantastic the times may get.
Will it be this good for longer than I'm exspecting? It might....but I don't think so.
There was a small period or so, back at the end of August and beginning of September when everything was just fine up until about the second or third week of September when things started going bad again thanks to that damn daily routine involving school and work.
Now, everything is getting good again thanks to the upcoming events that I am looking forward to, most of them are taking place sometime this upcoming week.
Tomorrow, I hang out with my good pal, Jason.
Tuesday, I hang out with some buds from school.
Wednsday, I have a date. (Yes, a real date.)
Friday, I am going to a party and possibly a concert.
And on top of all that, I still have my weekly TV schedule (Smallville, Supernatural, Heroes, Bionic Woman, Journeyman, Reaper, Chuck, Life, Cane, Pushing Daisies, etc.) to keep up with and all in all, this week is looking pretty fucking awesome.
But the thing that bugs me the most is that my life has always ran in a pattern. Although the events are constantly changing, the pattern remains the same.
The Pattern: Good, Good, Bad, Good, Okay, Bad, Bad, Bad, Good and lastly it ALWAYS ends up, "Alright".
I've been waiting to Break the Cycle (No pun intended for you Staind fans, reading this.), once again since
I've broken it a few times before but even when I have broken it, the events of my life just seem to return this way no matter what. It always comes back to this pattern.
I don't know what it is but I'm gonna keep my guard up as I always do and I'm still not gonna get sucked into this comfort....It just seems to be too good to be true.
Give it a few days or so, I bet you I'm gonna be proven right.
It comes and goes....
Things seem to be shaping up for the better but as usual, I'm not convinced enough to trust these feelings of optimism.
Most of my previous issues have been solved out but for some reason, I STILL don't feel that it's going to be long before it all goes to hell as it did a few times before.
I can't really exsplain it but I just have this strong feeling that's kinda telling me that if I get too comfortable as
I once did then everything is going to come crashing down again.
It's happened tons of times before and I feel that it will happen again.
I don't really think that by me not accepting this state of comfort is being pessimistic but I actually think that the proper term would be "Cautious".
Just because I'm not exspecting this state to last long, doesn't mean I wouldn't like for it to. It's just that I have been through this before.
It's kinda like finally reaching the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It's just that, for me, it usually comes and goes.
And honestly, not to be pessimistic or anything like that but good things just seem to come and go whenever something good comes around me.
I repeat, I'm not trying to be negative but I'm being VERY honest right now. Good things seem to come and go whenever it's around me. No matter how fantastic the times may get.
Will it be this good for longer than I'm exspecting? It might....but I don't think so.
There was a small period or so, back at the end of August and beginning of September when everything was just fine up until about the second or third week of September when things started going bad again thanks to that damn daily routine involving school and work.
Now, everything is getting good again thanks to the upcoming events that I am looking forward to, most of them are taking place sometime this upcoming week.
Tomorrow, I hang out with my good pal, Jason.
Tuesday, I hang out with some buds from school.
Wednsday, I have a date. (Yes, a real date.)
Friday, I am going to a party and possibly a concert.
And on top of all that, I still have my weekly TV schedule (Smallville, Supernatural, Heroes, Bionic Woman, Journeyman, Reaper, Chuck, Life, Cane, Pushing Daisies, etc.) to keep up with and all in all, this week is looking pretty fucking awesome.
But the thing that bugs me the most is that my life has always ran in a pattern. Although the events are constantly changing, the pattern remains the same.
The Pattern: Good, Good, Bad, Good, Okay, Bad, Bad, Bad, Good and lastly it ALWAYS ends up, "Alright".
I've been waiting to Break the Cycle (No pun intended for you Staind fans, reading this.), once again since
I've broken it a few times before but even when I have broken it, the events of my life just seem to return this way no matter what. It always comes back to this pattern.
I don't know what it is but I'm gonna keep my guard up as I always do and I'm still not gonna get sucked into this comfort....It just seems to be too good to be true.
Give it a few days or so, I bet you I'm gonna be proven right.
It comes and goes....
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