"And then I come to find that everything is okay, seen this all before but that was yesterday."-Aaron Lewis
So much has been cleared up and so much has been revealed about myself and others today.
Today marks a important day for me, I guess.
I feel as if everything has been made clear for me now. I now know that there are just some things in this world that I just can't have right now and in the end, there's a reason for it all....there's something that I think I have to do.
I don't know what it is and I don't know if it's a fantastic thing that's coming my way but I feel as if something BIG is on it's way. Something that I'm going to have to face sooner or later.
I've lived days like this before. Periodically, everything is made clear for me. Periodically, everything is where it should be.
Things aren't perfect and they will never be, but they are so much better when you know what's meant for you and what's not.
I had to come to a cross roads within myself today: "Do what I KNOW I have to do or continue chasing my misguided feelings for someone who'll never feel the same way for me."
Today, I chose to do what I had to do for the greater good.
I've always known that I would live this day, sooner or later and now....all has been said and done.
Sure, it hurts to know that I'll never get what I'd worked so hard for but now that everything is clear, I can embrace what was and what is still to come.
Now, I can do what I need to do with a clear mind and a clear conscience.
I was chasing after something that I knew, in my heart of hearts, I would never be able to have and now....everything is fine.
Out of all of this recent chaos, I've learned a few things that I'll NEVER forget:
1. No matter how much you try at some things, you'll never be able to achieve it all.
2. No matter how much you want some things, you'll never be able to have them.
3. No matter what you do, some people will go their own way in the end. (No matter how much sense you make.)
It's typical for the facts of life to slap me around a bit (You should've seen me in the summer of 2005.) and give me the wake up call I need sometimes.
And it's also typical for fate to take it's rightful place in life....our job as human beings are to just allow destiny to take us where we are supposed to be.
When all is said and done, at the end of the day, when there is no place to hide and no place to run, we all have to face ourselves and do what we have to do....no matter how hard it may be.
I faced myself today. I think I'm a better person for it.
At the same time, I'm proud and disappointed in myself.
Proud because, I've finally come to a checkpoint in my life.
Disappointed because, I broke a old vow that I made to myself years ago....to never live this day again.
I don't know if I'm a good person or bad person anymore but I do know that I shouldn't have put my needs before anyone else's....that's something that I promised myself a long time ago to never do and in recent weeks, I did EXACTLY what I told myself I would never do....I let a little bit of my greedy side get out.
Never again, will I let things go this far. Never again, will I let anyone get as close as I recently have. Never again, will I allow my feelings to get in the way.
In the end, I can rest at night, knowing that my descisions today are for the best and that I will never let things get this bad ever again.
From now on, I'm back to who I used to be....a stronger person who's only function in life is to go forward and let NOTHING stand in his way.
This is the only way for me.
This is what's best.
So much has been cleared up and so much has been revealed about myself and others today.
Today marks a important day for me, I guess.
I feel as if everything has been made clear for me now. I now know that there are just some things in this world that I just can't have right now and in the end, there's a reason for it all....there's something that I think I have to do.
I don't know what it is and I don't know if it's a fantastic thing that's coming my way but I feel as if something BIG is on it's way. Something that I'm going to have to face sooner or later.
I've lived days like this before. Periodically, everything is made clear for me. Periodically, everything is where it should be.
Things aren't perfect and they will never be, but they are so much better when you know what's meant for you and what's not.
I had to come to a cross roads within myself today: "Do what I KNOW I have to do or continue chasing my misguided feelings for someone who'll never feel the same way for me."
Today, I chose to do what I had to do for the greater good.
I've always known that I would live this day, sooner or later and now....all has been said and done.
Sure, it hurts to know that I'll never get what I'd worked so hard for but now that everything is clear, I can embrace what was and what is still to come.
Now, I can do what I need to do with a clear mind and a clear conscience.
I was chasing after something that I knew, in my heart of hearts, I would never be able to have and now....everything is fine.
Out of all of this recent chaos, I've learned a few things that I'll NEVER forget:
1. No matter how much you try at some things, you'll never be able to achieve it all.
2. No matter how much you want some things, you'll never be able to have them.
3. No matter what you do, some people will go their own way in the end. (No matter how much sense you make.)
It's typical for the facts of life to slap me around a bit (You should've seen me in the summer of 2005.) and give me the wake up call I need sometimes.
And it's also typical for fate to take it's rightful place in life....our job as human beings are to just allow destiny to take us where we are supposed to be.
When all is said and done, at the end of the day, when there is no place to hide and no place to run, we all have to face ourselves and do what we have to do....no matter how hard it may be.
I faced myself today. I think I'm a better person for it.
At the same time, I'm proud and disappointed in myself.
Proud because, I've finally come to a checkpoint in my life.
Disappointed because, I broke a old vow that I made to myself years ago....to never live this day again.
I don't know if I'm a good person or bad person anymore but I do know that I shouldn't have put my needs before anyone else's....that's something that I promised myself a long time ago to never do and in recent weeks, I did EXACTLY what I told myself I would never do....I let a little bit of my greedy side get out.
Never again, will I let things go this far. Never again, will I let anyone get as close as I recently have. Never again, will I allow my feelings to get in the way.
In the end, I can rest at night, knowing that my descisions today are for the best and that I will never let things get this bad ever again.
From now on, I'm back to who I used to be....a stronger person who's only function in life is to go forward and let NOTHING stand in his way.
This is the only way for me.
This is what's best.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Montages, the artform thereof, and all subsequent works featured on this blog page are owned by DaiQuan M. Cain and are subject to copyright (#185729-V) under the U.S. Copyright Law of 1976 & the U.S. Library of Congress. Any thievery, unauthorized usage, or infringement of said work(s) and copyright(s) will result in a fine of up to $250,000 or more.